Shedding skin... again

I don't know what it is about children of certain ages, but there are times when they suddenly take big leaps forward. That litttle person you have got to know suddenly metamorphosises into a new little person (somtimes overnight). I remember the first time i realised this was going on. My son was two or three (see i can't REMEMBER!!!!) and I'd got used to this easy-going, happy little boy. Then as now, his head was in the clouds but at least I understood his personality.I hoped he'd get taller and better at speaking but fundamentally i thought the boy i saw before me (with a few tweaks - nappies don't look good on teenagers) was it.

How wrong, and insane, I was. The terrible twos hit and he suddenly started being naughty for the sake of it. We had tantrums in shopping centres, the works. And I realised he'd changed. Of course it's not a bad thing. I'm no child psychologist but I know the tantrums are all part of their natural emotional development and they grow out if it. But even when they do, they don't revert to being the child they were before, they are permanently different. They've grown up a little. The little boy i knew had gone (well, moved on) and I even remember lamenting the fact. Fortunately the regret doesn't last long because the changes lead to a raft of new firsts and incredible moments that the little boy i knew could never imagine doing. But it did make me realise that children shed their skin in sometimes very obvious ways. 

A few things strike me about this. First the importance of recording the ever-changing child to remind you what they were like at different stages of their lives - not just physically, but emotionally - which means writing it down. Even though some of the changes are dramatic, many are imperceptible, and once they have changed, it's incredibly difficult to remember what they used to be like. The dilemna is that we want our children to grow up yet we don't - the toddling years in particular are amazing and once they go to school, things are never quite the same. Documenting the changes gives us the best of both worlds.

Second, these memories provide 'anchors' and emotional context which are especially useful when dealing with some of the more difficult times. This BBC parenting site states how important it is with your 'terrible' 2 or 3 year old to remember they're only like that some of the time. Mostly they're full of love and laughter so documenting the expererience can give you - and them - some useful context.

That terrible-two-year-old-boy of mine is now nine, and today he showed some emotional maturity that makes me realise he's moving on yet again. Yes he's being a little so and so right now (I think nine year old boys have a sudden testosterone burst which turns them into little s***s on school holidays). But the pay off is he's also growing up in lovely ways too. Remembering to remember helps you realise that.